How Exhausting Is It to Discover a Low-cost Couch in New York?

[bright music] [film clacking]

[distant police siren]

[wooden tapping]

[metallic click]



You knocked on my door?

I did.

Hear, you’ve got been right here for a month now, the place’s the couch?

What couch?

Once you moved in right here, you stated you had been getting a settee.

The place is it?

It is only a couch, for those who want one so badly,

get it your self.

I am broke, I took you in since you stated you had a settee.

Individuals say numerous issues

to get into an house, Abir,

I might have instructed you, for instance,

that I had a full-time job

after which stayed dwelling to do traces all day.

However I’m, in actual fact,

an energetic and contributing member of society, and I am quiet.

So you bought very, very, very fortunate

to have me as your roommate.

How does that even make sense?

All I am saying is that it might have been worse.

Now, for those who’ll excuse me,

I will go watch porn with my headphones on

as a result of I am thoughtful like that.

[groans] You may’t simply…

[Waterslides by PIXX]

♪ Dealing with methods down waterslides ♪

♪ I attempt to cling on however I journey ♪

♪ Generally it is laborious to inform ♪

♪ If I selected to slide or if I fell ♪

♪ It appears to only go on and on ♪

♪ Please let off ♪

♪ Been right here too lengthy ♪

♪ Is it me who made this place ♪

♪ I nonetheless do not know a single face ♪

[ metal squeaking]

[wooden thumping]


Hey Vin? Abir?

Sure, I am right here for the couch.

You might have a ravishing identify.


Is it Arab?


I knew it. [chuckles]

I am Israeli.


My identify is Vin, my dad and mom needed one thing, you recognize,

worldwide however I sound like Borat.

You might have a superb accent, eh?

Yeah, I used to observe numerous American tv, so.

what do you watch, Mates?

No. Simpsons?

No, really I am simply actually right here for the couch,

and I am sort of in a rush,

so for those who might simply… Okay, okay, one second.


Right here you go, mazel tov.

Whoa, no, what is that this?

Someone took the couch an hour in the past.

Second one in line will get the trampoline.

No, no, no, no, no, I got here right here for the couch.

Sorry, the couch is taken.

It was free.

Individuals love free stuff, you recognize.

I got here all means right here for this?

I really feel such as you’re upset.

I wrote within the advert, second one in line will get the trampoline.

You need to have learn the wonderful print.

It is Craigslist.

They’re each on the [indistinct] itemizing,

every little thing is tremendous low-cost.

I am providing you with a free trampoline, wonderful situation.

Abir, we must always go eat houmus typically.

[feet stomping] It is hummus.

[wooden clattering]

[Waterslides by PIXX]

♪ It appears to only go on and on ♪

♪ Simply let me off, been right here too lengthy ♪

♪ Is it me who made this place ♪

♪ I nonetheless do not know a single face ♪

[muffled club music]

[Abir] So, you are a canine walker?

[coughs] A canine hiker, large distinction.

However you stroll canine?

I hike with canine.

I, it is for individuals who need their canine

to see extra than simply the closest park,

it is a full expertise.

Like yesterday we went to the Catskills.

Subsequent week, perhaps we’ll go to Maine. [chuckles]

Who is aware of.

Wow, that is actually distinctive.

Yeah, it is, I really like my job.

What did you say you do?

I am at present in between…

Aah, you are rebranding, huh.

Oh, rebranding, I like that.

Yeah, yeah.

You already know, you need to get skilled head pictures taken.

You look means higher than in your footage you recognize?

That is your aspect.

I am a photographer really, so,

simply floating that on the market, you recognize?

Wow, that is actually cool.

Yeah. Hmm.

So are we gonna return to your home or?

[liquid sloshes]

We are able to, [chuckles] if that is what you need.

So quick, you have not even completed your drink but?

That is wonderful, I am sort of in a rush anyway, so.

All proper, properly, I am not normally this sort of boy.

[growls] Drinks are on me.

Excuse me. Oh no, no, no,

I meant for the couch.

What couch?

You are couch, that is going to be mine quickly.

Oh, wasn’t {that a} joke?

A joke, why would I joke about needing a settee?

I believed you had been being authentic, you recognize.

Identical to, not right here for hookups,

hit me up when you’ve got a spare couch.

I imply, I normally say sofa, who says couch,

however I preferred it, you recognize?

It acquired my consideration.

However we chatted, you instructed me you had a settee.

Do phrases imply something to anybody anymore?

I used to be flirting.

I haven’t got a spare couch.

Who has a spare?

My uncle has a spare couch.

Are you able to name him?

Oh, he lives in Florida.

I can not consider this.

I can not consider

you had been really searching for a settee on Tinder.

Oh yeah, properly not less than I used to be being trustworthy.

You are undoubtedly not 5′ 10.

So we’re not going again to my place?

[metallic clatter]

[wooden thumping]

Rami, I do know you are in there, I can see your footwear.

Nonetheless leaving them outdoors,

you recognize somebody can simply seize them.

Have you ever ever smelled my footwear?

[Abir] Why would I scent your footwear?

Nevermind, what are you doing right here?

Assist me take this magnificence outdoors

and we do not have to speak about it, okay?

[Rami] What magnificence?

[hand claps]

[scoffs] You wish to take my couch?

Technically it is my couch too, so.

Abir, it is my couch, I purchased it.

Yeah, however once you moved in you made me throw away my couch

so it is solely honest that I take it.

Could not you carry this up after we broke up?

I believed I would discover one thing else by now.

With that logic, you need to take my espresso desk too.

No, it is ugly.

What are you doing?

[grunts] Transfer. I am not providing you with the couch.

You are not giving it to me,

I am taking it ‘trigger it is mine.

[grunts] No!

Rami cease!

No means, you are being… Do not say it.

Do not name me loopy.

[sighs] [hand claps]

[Abir sighs]

[Rami sighs]

I believed you preferred the espresso desk?

I by no means preferred it.

No? No.

You stated the colour was… By no means.

So, you wish to get again collectively or what?

What, no.

[wooden thumping]

Hey. Hello mother.

[speaking in foreign language]

I swear, I run quicker.

No less than I get to see you.

[speaking in foreign language]

Okay. [feet thumping]

[water whooshing]

[speaking in foreign language]


[speaking in foreign language]

[Mom sighs]

[speaking in foreign language]

[wooden creaking] [footsteps clicking]

[lips smacking]

[quiet wooden thumps]

[Abir sighs]

[Mom groans]

[Mom sighs]

[plastic clicking]

[paper rustling]

[speaking in foreign language]

[plastic rustling]

Mother, [speaking in foreign language]

[plastic click] [Abir sighs]

[Waterslides by PIXX]

♪ Dealing with methods down waterslides ♪

♪ I attempt to cling on however I journey ♪

♪ Generally it is laborious to inform ♪

♪ If I selected to slide or if I fell ♪

♪ It appears to only go on and on ♪

♪ Please let me off, been right here too lengthy ♪

♪ Is it me who made this place ♪

♪ I nonetheless do not know a single face ♪

[woman moaning in background]

Karen, headphones.

[Karen] Sorry.

♪ Do not observe me into my desires ♪

♪ You do not belong right here ♪

♪ However for those who attempt to sneak on in you may be caught too ♪

♪ My coronary heart, in two it may be crumbling now ♪

♪ However the final one I wish to go along with it’s you ♪

♪ Now I am strolling ‘spherical and ‘spherical ♪

♪ Its like a maze I can not get out ♪

♪ Everyone seems to be in a rush ♪

♪ to have some enjoyable however instances are robust ♪

♪ There should be one thing right here for me ♪

♪ I am terrified by what I see ♪

♪ Once you catch me strolling ‘spherical ♪

♪ Please wake me up or else I am going to drown ♪

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